2002-11-18 - 8:31 p.m.
It's hard to be a girl
From LostInComa (Submitted by Nikep)
I passed by this girl's door where a handmade sign was posted saying "god's property". It wasn't the first time I'd seen a sign like that on someone's door, which prompted me to think... this god guy's pretty pimpin'. All these girls out there are just giving themselves up to this *supposedly* higher being...and he's just sittin' back in his lazy boy with a bottle of champagne, some buffalo wings, and some doller bills for the strippers dancing in front of him...taking it all in.
My therapist says that if I meet Steven’s parents and they say anything inappropriate to me I should calmly say, “I don’t think I heard you correctly, can you please clarify that for me?” Which is much more mature than screaming, “Excuse me!? Who the fuck do you think you are?! Your son doesn’t mind my size! He especially didn’t mind it last week when I tied him to my bed and rode him like a circus pony!”
From Poor Yorick
I think that if it's perfectly acceptable for girls and young women to wear low rider jeans and expose their butt-cracks in shopping malls and other locales across the country, then it should be perfectly acceptable for anyone to drop a quarter into said-cracks in recognition
Anyway, I woke up refreshed. Much like how you feel after watching a romantic comedy. Maybe this is how Meg Ryan feels sometimes.
You know it's time to shave your legs when you find a hair with a split end.
I think I'd like to be a ring-tailed lemur. They're primates, native to Madagascar and I'm just crazy about their fluffy little tails. Really, have you ever seen anything so cute? And they live in playful packs of 5 or 10 close-knit lemur communities. It's a matriarchal society, but everyone forages together. They girly lemurs' main job is to rub their vaginas on things in order to mark their territory. If that isn't the best job in the world, I don't know what is.
Now, I will do my forbidden dance. Too bad you can't see me.