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2001-04-30 - 11:30 a.m.

Still catching up
You know, I've never trusted AOL. I once worked with a nonprofit organization that wanted to work with AOL. I was talking to one of their techs - one of their HEAD techs, not one of the peons who answers the phone - and he asked me if I had heard of this revolutionary new technology called "JAVA", because he had just read an article and it sounded pretty cool.

This was in 1998, people.

Oh, wait, this isn't Sorry about that, getting a little confused. Lack of coffee on a Monday will do that to me.

Still trying to get through the backlog of submissions. I mean, I've sorted them all and everything, it's just a matter of getting them up here. And soon I'll start getting through all the ones that started pouring in once people saw that I was back.

It's all good.

From Zornog

What really creeps me out is when people on the internet say creepy things and follow them with a wink. That freaks me out. They say, "Man, I'd sure like to kill that guy and shit down his throat, know what I mean? ;)" And you just sit there, wide-eyed, wondering if the person on the other side of your modem has the ability to come through your monitor and eat your brains.

From Outlook

after seeing that commercial, im trying to find the phobia that is the fear of pmdd - premenstrual dysphoric disorder. now, that is something that no one should suffer thru.

From Zetho (via Tozier)

In the beginning, there was Nothing. Through circumstances my silly little mortal mind cannot even begin to comprehend let alone explain, Nothing realized how phenominal the word "penguin" was without knowing what a penguin was, what words were, or how fabulous a good girlcheese sandwich is. Nothing was so inspired to share the Beauty that is the word "penguin", it began to turn into Everything so that one day a man would lay in his room at 5am on a Tuesday morning, play with his kitten, and marvel.

From IrisPrincess (via some anonymous person)

The waiter walked over to the phone to call security and I yelled "I'm persistant! Persistance is key! Haven't you ever heard that? It's a real phrase. They put it on bumper stickers. Have you ever seen a bumper sticker that said 'Boredom is key'? NO! That's why you should hire me!"

Then I ran out.

From Loser-Kid (via WinsomeKitty)

Shes just a tease. Flirting, Leading him on, and then crushing his manliness in her closed fist like a savage lion's jaw holding the carcass of a Gazel-- oh, sorry. Got carried away there.

From EvilMinako (via EvilTaikiKou)

What a day... make that night. I hardly woke up what, an hour ago? Maybe two. I'm not sure. I've lost all concept of time. Vodka does that to me sometimes.

*looks at the half empty bottle she holds by the neck*

Gin. Okay, Gin does that to me sometimes.

From Uberhamster (via Waterbelle)

The place looks like Godzilla snorted up a paper mill then had a really good sneeze.