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2001-06-12 - 2:40 p.m.

In Which I Cop Out
Ok, see, this is a good year. This is the year where I learn to admit that I'm in over my head and I need help. Help! I can't plan a party! And now it's too late to find a place because the places I called can't do it or are too expensive or already booked and people want to come and I can't think of anything else and I'm a big loser and... uh... if you want to be the Official Quoted Party Planner, I'll be your best friend forever and ever.

And I started to say, the only rules are that it has to be in the Northern Virginia/DC area, but then I thought, why? No reason. I mean, *I* won't go if it's too far away, but that's no reason for *you* not to go. Everyone should go out on the 22nd, and have a beer, and then write about it in their diaries the next day, and it would be just like a real Diaryland party!

Or, uh, something like that.

I'll stick to what I know. Cutting and pasting other people's brillant quips? I can do that. Watch:

From Lola_B

But I would argue that while being pregnant is certainly no picnic, (unless you mean one of those picnics where the grass is dry and scratchy, and there aren't enough blankets or shade, and the potato salad has gone bad, and there are ants all over the place, and its 115 outside, and all they have to eat are burned hot-dogs, in which case its a lot like a picnic) it isn't so tough compared to feeding, diapering, butt-wiping, using that snot-sucker thing, taking temperatures rectally, trying to get your kid not to sniff White-Out, driving lessons, boy bands, "I want a new bike", having to tell the Santa Claus lie and then recant several years later and then try to convince him to believe us when we tell him about Jesus, sleep deprivation for the next twenty years, tattoos and supporting his independence while refusing to finance clown college.

From Sun96flower (via JadedFire)

Ya know, they say that women love men in uniform...but the UPS guy just doesn't do it for me.

From Isra (via HappyPumpkin)

Hello Kitty, of course, is the O.G. of Sanrio town, down since day one and keeping it real.

From HalfHero (via SuicideBlond)

my cd players are always on random. it's more fun that way. i tried doing the same with the oven time for some cookies, but that wasn't as fun.

From Grouse (via SilverEyes)

He had never used a rotary dial telephone before. Had no idea how to use it. Eventually, he tried putting his fingers in the holes and pushing, like it might be a touch screen.

From DeanValdean (via PhoenixChild)

i love clear plastic. i don't think there is anything in the world that can compare to something shiny that one can see through. except for maybe a massage. that comes close to the plastic, real close.