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2001-10-16 - 4:49 p.m.

Huh, what?
Oh yeah. I was going to update, but got sidetracked by a really good diary that someone sent me a quote from. Nah, I'm not telling you who it is. I mean, probably I should, because, hey, good diary, I should share. But The Conference That Ate My Brain(tm) would make me kill the first person who said, hey, could you mention my diary specifically by name in your next entry? And nobody wants that.

So just assume I'm talking about your diary. I probably am, anyway.

From Get-a-Grip

my lip gloss went through the wash and now it tastes like pants.

From Transient0 (via an anonymous person)

Have you ever looked in your wallet in despair at how little money you have only to discover that one of those dimes is actually a subway token and then you're like "this is great! a subway token's actually worth $2.25, I'm three times as rich as i thought!". Then, later, you go to buy a coffee and you think you have enough money, but then you're actually 9 cents short and there's that f---ing token taunting you because you can't pay the coffee guy with a token and you have to just owe the guy nine cents because you're an idiot. has that ever happened to you?

From RobotKitten (via Ramanda)

What I was allowed to do, was drive around with my parents or approved friends for instructional purposes. What I was most certainly not allowed to do, was illegally transport underage punk kids my dad does not know to stoner movies.

From Irremediable (via an anonymous person AND someone whose name I seem to have lost. Go me.)

it's time for me to come clean. i lied when i said there was nothing more to me than my affection for sandwiches and my proclivity for murder. im not even a very good axe murderer. most of my victims are just people i ran over with my car while i was adjusting the frequency of my favorite oldies station.

From Get-a-Grip (via Monitor)

i told my therapist i could not major in anthropology because i'm too much of a misanthrope.
and she said, "so? you can be a misanthropologist."

From NudeTwister (via Quinndolyn)

Hello, wound. I'm salt, and I wanna get FRISK-AY with you!