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11-Feb-2002 - Later than you think...

Oh, feel the fear...
You know, I thought I was being all on top of things, but that, my friends, is what we would call a false impression.

Haven't checked my guestbook lately, either. Oh, woe, I'm going to be hacked. Oh shrek, look at me shivering in my boots.

(Why yes, they ARE nice boots, aren't they? $7 on ultra-clearance from this place on the Internet... no, seriously!)

From Heckafresh (sent by Gopgirl)

You see, I really dislike myself a great deal, yet, I also love myself with a passion that Shakespeare himself couldn't express, even if he had one thousand typing monkeys at his disposal.

From Lisse (sent by Highlighted)

I just finished my 15-page research paper.
Exactly eighteen hours before it is due.
Which means, I have eighteen hours of unexpected free time.
I think I'll go have some sex.

From Influence (sent by Katsigh)

For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosery and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But, it just didn't work out between us.

Note: Several eagle-eyed readers have pointed out that this is actually a quote from Bull Durham. Feel free to point and laugh at anyone you'd like involved in this quotage.

From Weetabix (sent by Alternamommy)

So we fled from that family gathering to my family, who is dysfunctional, but in a repressed Lutheran "My Jello salad is better than your Jello salad" kind of way, with its petty little barbs said with smiling faces. Not in a "Ma! The baby’s hogging all the smokes" kind of way.

From Orcus (sent by Tufftastic)

Sometimes he would draw pictures of himself weighing 400 pounds and living in a dumpster, covered with malodorous filth. He had problems. Hilarious problems.

From DaizyMaizy (sent by PoppaCasey)

Also, my computer isn't dead after all! We're talking ressurrection from the grave here. It's like Easter in my room right now.