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14-Feb-2002 - Afternoonish

VD 2002
Well, would you look at that. Here it is Valentine's Day and this site still hasn't been hacked. Tsk, tsk.

Falling down on your job!

Let's see... I could write something about Valentine's Day here, but I'm just not inspired. General mood of Diaryland? "Why should I have to buy something once a year to prove to my (boyfriend, girlfriend, fish) that I love them?"

Not very original. Come on, you can do better! Valentine's Day is a Communist Plot! Valentine's Day is an alien mind-control device! I want to see some paranoid conspiracy theories!

For you, a selection of Valentine's Day related quoted, in both bitter and milk chocolate, for your enjoyment.

From Lindsayism (sent by Sukilicious)

Dear Toothy:

I have no idea what a "blow job" is. Go to church.

From NoAlarms (sent by Narcissa)

As if I couldnít get any lower, I refused the offer of a chip not because I didnít want one but because I didnít want to reduce the amount of fat they were eating.

From Quarters (sent by Laura with no diary)

how do you tell someone that they don't know what they're missing without looking like an egomaniacal assface?

From Anenigma (sent by Rainbowmuse)

Note. Just because a bartender has seen you lying in a puddle of your own vomit, that doesn't make her your friend.

From Agent-Grrrr (sent by Honey-Blade)

One of the blokes has also learnt my name, which is the worst thing for a barman because he then feels he can call you over at any time and serve him like he was some sort of celebrity. No. This doesn't work. If you call my name then you know who I am and I know who you are.

From Astralfrog (sent by Oddcellist)

granted, it's an easy mistake to make. people see "my boyfriend" and assume i'm female, but this is diaryland! where the girls love boys, the boys love boys, and the FBI agents weed out the potential girl-loving perverts.