Archives New! Everything Else

2006-02-05 - 2:10 p.m.


I was looking through my New Year's resolutions for 2006 and I saw one that says "Write a Quoted entry at least every week". These are my favorite types of resolutions, because I can check them off quickly the week after I fail to achieve them. Who wants to check off a goal by achieving it anyway? I say, lower your expectations for yourself, thus assuring that all of your goals are immediately obtainable.

You could have read all about this philosophy in my new book "Idohwanna: The Subtle Art of Doing Nothing", except I never got around to writing it. So, if you are looking for some reading material, check out these latest quotes...

From sundaygirl (Sent by Rosie):

nothing like a management meeting and a pap smear to really put the sunshine in your day.

From barelytzu:

I have ridden through a drive through in a shopping cart. In accordance with the "motorized vehicles only" sign, I made vrooom-vrooom noises.

From Nadarian (Sent by Snowietig):

I will probably never know Liz's natural hair color, but I am fairly sure it's not metallic. Silver. Copper. Platinum. Gaudy cheap gold plating. It's all there. On Liz's head...I swear I saw her bangs sticking to her magnetic earrings.

From TranceJen:

Today's TranceJen has been brought to you by whomever Googled "hot babe fuck" and landed here.

I think that's pretty swell.

From Smoog (Sent by Stuart Leachy):

Smoog's Lessons in Etiquette: Lesson #4 - The House Party

#10 - If you find that you are not having as much fun as you might like, remember the tried and true saying about the squeaky wheel. Address this problem by following your host around and intermittently slapping them upside the head screaming, "No fun!"