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2002-11-07 - 8:29 p.m.

Donkeys and Elephants and Ducks... oh my!
Keep those great quotes coming! (But you might want to check out the FAQ as to the pertinent information to include in a suggestion for Quoted, as itís really hard for me to link stuff when I donít have, for instance, a URL.

From TVZero:

Today, I hit a duck on my way to work this morning. In case you're at all concerned that's a typo, let me type it again. I HIT A DUCK ON THE WAY TO WORK. It wouldn't be as funny were I driving my car, and the duck became step one of duck ala orange, but I was on my bike and he appeared to not need medical attention. Those ducks. They're unflappable. I didn't see him coming, he started flapping in front of me and when I braked, he hovered and smacked into my shoulder. There are still feathers in my spokes. I tried to see if he was okay, but he quickly backed behind the fence. I'm sure he's fine. I'm actually more concerned that I will be facing a pissed off duck posse on the ride home for attacking one of their own.

From PorkTornado:

I hereby christen the thirtieth birthday as the birthday that is annoying as hell. It seems that people who don't even know your name suddenly know your date of birth and they make remarks ranging from "Well, you're no longer in your twenties" (as if that's going to make me stop acting like a twelve year old) to "So, are you alright...?" Like someone just told me I have cancer and my entire family has been eaten by a gorilla.

From Tygerchild (submitted by LisaTote)

"Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life." Speak the truth to me, Brother Fortune Strip. But, really, this sentiment smacks of insincerity. Like a Tony Robbins infomercial.

From ChromeMM (Submitted by FuzzMom)

Now I know the urge to finally shoot someone can be high in some people. Hell I killed a man in Reno just to see if I can feel again. Ok so I didn't do that. I winged a guy in Tucson cause he cut me off on the freeway. Hhmmm. Would you believe I shot a rubber band at the head of a State Trooper in Rochester? I mean it did leave a really nasty welt.

From Scanzilla (Submitted by Chauffi)

Kojak: Charles In Charge. Isn't it true that the only thing Charles was in charge of was a major coke running ring out of Cuba!?

From Genghis Jon:

Christ, what next? Hey Mr & Mrs American voter! Why don't you just vote for The FUCKING Klingons to run our government, you stupid rednecks!
It's not that cold in Canada, is it?

From Wicked-Sezzy:

I'll tell ya, nothing says "conservative Republican" like anonymous handjobs. In a car. ~Ahem~

From Stats01 (submitted by someone I've lost, I'm sorry! Send me an email again and I'll fix this link)

I got hit on yet again. But this time, it was by an Amish (I think he was Amish!) guy at the library. Seriously. I know it sounds weird, but this Amish guy came up to me and tried to make small talk. After we talked about a book I was looking at and the hot weather, he asked me if I wanted to ride horses. I thought it was a joke. It wasn't.