2000-12-04 - 16:59:59
Relationships, December, and Laundry
Ok, y'all are killing me. I had 26 emails when I came in this morning. TWENTY-SIX. I mean, I like getting quotes. But I think everybody should set up a DiaryLand rota where they make sure that I don't get all flustered on a Monday morning.
Or at least send me coffee first.
Afterwards, a giant (30-pack) box of condoms appeared in my room. Standard, no frills condoms. When I saw them, and asked my mom where they came from, she said "if you need more, just let me know." As if I could possibly burn through a thirty pack before they expired.
Ever since that day, whenever I have girl problems, in the back of my mind, I think 'if only I was as much of a pimp as mom thinks I am...'
Blueberry poptarts alone. How pathetically tasty.
The last time I liked somebody was last year. He graduated. I used to get all verbally dyslexic in his presence or at his mention. Then I found out he was a giant man-whore who screwed 75% of the then-sophomore class.
And suddenly the verbal dyslexia was gone.
...I just wanted to point out that DECEMBER SUCKS AND I HATE CHRISTMAS. And deep down I have a nice heart and sense of decency and my last name is Grinch.
We have new windows.
i am a single male. my clean clothes belong in three places: in the dryer, on the top of the dryer, and in a pile near the dryer.
our laundromat has crazy mirrors all over the ceiling and walls. i always feel like i'm in a situation that could turn into a porn movie at any time… *girl comes in with her laundry.... decides to wash the clothes she's wearing... [insert cheezy porn music here, cut to kinky sex involving washing machines and liquid tide].