2001-01-24 - 20:46:20
I've Missed You, Internet
It's really nice to be back. Six days with no Internet access is... well, six days too long, for a start.
Folks, if you're unhappy with your building management, hire a lawyer. No need to set the phone closet for the entire complex on fire, ok? Thanks.
Now, here are the quotes from LAST FRIDAY.
Today: partly crappy. Tomorrow: crappy, 80% chance of sleeping in.
so have you noticed that one of the banner ads here on diaryland says, "are your affairs in order? click here to get a FREE SIMPLE WILL."
personally, I don't think this is the smartest encouragement to be offering to a group where over half of the participants are verging on suicidal.
I suppose they’d prefer Athena posters of cute wickle wabbits or those freaky babies that that woman covers in bits of cauliflower leaves and other kitchen waste.
Two words. HOW COULD YOU FORGET TO PUT ON YOUR BATHING SUIT? HOW COULD YOU NOT NOTICE YOUR PENIS ON YOUR LAP??? Ok, twenty words. But damn.
I feel sorry for the lady dinosaurs, because you KNOW those gentlemen dinosaurs didn't care whether they had an orgasm or not. And this led to problems. Any intelligent person knows that the dinosaurs weren't killed by a meteor or a volcano. The dinosaurs died in an earthquake. AN EARTHQUAKE CAUSED BY THE VIOLENT AND EARTH-SHATTERING MOVEMENT OF THE LADY DINOSAURS' VIBRATORS.
what i would say to my dog if he understood english:
"dog, if you don't know what my butt smells like by now...."