04-Feb-02 - 11:00
It's Not Snowing!
Man... I come on here all ready to go, "It's SNOWING! EEEEEEEEE!" and it stops.
The word of the day is: Article. A-R-T-I-C-L-E. Not "artical" - not "articale". Thank you.
I saw this Russian girl on the train again. She stared at me and gave me that inquisitive, Russian-girl look that asked, "Gucci or Versace, my American boy?" I shot her back a classic me-look which could only have said, "Payless...doesn't it feel good." Her Russian-ness was clearly not accustomed to such sartorial vulgarity, and she actually vomitted on the floor! Actually, she didn't, but she would have if she knew I bought my underwear at Bobby's Discount Clothes palace.
Hereís what Iíve decided. If I donít get my ass into Christmas gear by October 25th next year then Iím going to convert to Jehovahís Witness-ism and give it up all the way. I thought about converting to Judaism, but they do that Hanukkah thing which is drawn out over a WEEK and please, I would have to kill myself.
What's the difference between a Brittney Spears video and a porno?
If there aren't any updates for a very long time, assume that I died from a badly cooked double cheeseburger (plain), medium fries, and a chocolate triple thick milkshake, and boycott McDonalds in my honor.
Itíll take us back to the golden age before porn was corrupted by sex and nudity, back to the time where you could find good old fashioned family porn, the kind of thing that united grandchildren with grandparents, as the generations sat around the fire looking at pictures of fully clothed naked people.